A Complete Waste of Time

Growing up, my father was a science teacher in a public school. He told both my sister and I that we could do anything we wanted when we "grew up"  except be a public educator. We could even be teachers, just not in the public school systems. Having a father well grounded in science meant that I learned a lot when I wasn't at school. When I would get bored and no one else was around to play with, I would run experiments. I had more microscopes and chemistry sets then I can remember, although the chemistry sets never had enough chemicals because we made too many stink bombs and fireworks from them all. His love of science was imparted into me, and became a reason I am an engineer. A few nights ago I was talking with him, and he mentioned The Big Bang Theory. Now, in theory, I should be a fan of this show. It is nerds, making nerdy jokes about abstract scientific theories. In reality, I don't watch the show, but it got us talking about theoretical physics.

Oftentimes people describe time as the fourth dimension. This is not a scientific based observation, however, as mathematicians and scientists do not treat time as a dimension. It is an important aspect, but not one as the standard 3, x, y, and z axes. One reason for this is that time is affected by gravity. The how and why of this is a deep physics explanation, the short of which is dealing with Einstein's relativity theorem. Suffice it to say, because of its relative properties it is a poor method to measure something in terms of a defined unmovable axis. A second simply isn't the same as every other second.  

Another theory of physics is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Most people know of this through Star Trek where it was "handled" in the transporter technology by simply  including a Heisenberg Compensator. Sounds sufficient anyway. Basically Heisenberg said that you can either know an objects velocity or you can know its location you cannot know both. This is because in measuring it you have to physically (on a microscopic minute level) interact with the object such that you change one or both properties. There is some level of momentum, energy, or inertia that is removed from a particle in measuring this. The easiest way to explain this is to remember that NASCAR drivers do not have speedometers in their vehicles because measuring something as useless to them as speed would slow their vehicles just enough to make a difference. They only care about their velocity relative to the others, and not relative to the ground or grandstands.

Now taking these two principles together, time, which is affected by external stimuli, should also be changed by measuring it. This is easily demonstrated by an old cliché, a watched pot never boils.

I told you at the beginning it was a complete waste of time.

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Being a Saint on All Saints Eve

Yesterday I was driving around the mall marveling about how the parking lot appears to have been re-designed making it difficult to get out of. It is an access management thing that improves the safety of both the roads around the parking lot and the traffic inside the lot as people will no longer cut through the massive asphalt island. Of course it also has the effect of irritating drivers making them short-tempered. Being Halloween, there was a huge crowd at the mall there for trick or treating. Many of the irritated drivers had their children dressed in costumes just trying to get in and get out, before the big crowd that was already there got there. Both my wife and I experienced the road rage of someone behind us becoming upset that we weren't moving fast enough to suit them and had horns honking and tailgating, which caused me to think that it is a perfect case of others using the mentality that failure to plan on their part (to get their earlier) was an emergency for me (to move out of their way). This is a common "me first" mentality seen in many places lately.

Later in the evening, we went to a casino, where I again experienced the joy of a poorly laid out parking lot. This time, the one way aisles were intended to keep vehicles moving into the lot, and when leaving the lot made them move far enough into the lot before getting to an exit lane that the queue for the traffic light would not hinder flows through the lot. Much easier to demonstrate in a sketch or on the ground then describe in prose. Once inside, we were standing in line to eat at a buffet, this was a restaurant that required payment before you sit down and the line was moving rather slowly. While we were standing there I heard someone walk up to see why the line wasn't moving comment to their partner, "There's only one cashier. I can't believe they only have one cashier on a holiday." I don't know about you, but I didn't know that Halloween was a holiday. This again is an instance of someone thinking of themselves and their need to be served faster for whatever reason they can justify.

So, last night I twice experienced the joys of bad parking lot design, a real issue for a traffic and transportation engineer such as myself, and twice had the occasion to see the me first mentality that we have come to know and nearly accept in the United States. As a Christian we are told to turn the other cheek, I didn't get upset in either situation, though my love of my neighbor may not have been readily apparent to those around me (because it's hard to demonstrate in traffic). It is a response that is needed more and more in the present day.

On a sidenote, I did like the idea of yesterday as a holiday. It was the 21st anniversary of the day I met my young bride. While choosing to celebrate that is a personal event, hoping that it will one day become a holiday worthy of two cashiers would be self-serving. Instead I will simply say, Happy Anniversary and I love you to my wife. Not only did I marry way above my level, I don't know how she puts up with me either.

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Not a Tribute to Jobs

There are lots of blog posts, tweets, and email messages going around today about the life and times of Steve Jobs. Just for the record, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon. Dang, I just did. Oh well, that's what happens when you make an Apple with 2 cores.

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Kin You Explain?

In the South we count all relatives. The ones we like and the ones we don't. Some we hide but when asked we'll admit it. Weirdness is a relative statement, if you doubt me, I'll introduce you to some of my relatives. I grew up with lots of cousins and second cousins that I merely called cousin. I have one second cousin (whose son, a third cousin I just called cousin) who I still call Aunt even though her brothers I have always called by their first name because they were cousins.

In addition to counting third cousins, in the South we use removed. Second cousin once removed, etc. I had a Great Uncle I just called Uncle, his daughter I called Aunt, but his Grandson (a second cousin once removed) I just called cousin. Speaking of, has anyone heard from Keith lately?

If you need to understand half and step siblings, ask a Southerner. You're more likely to get an understandable answer. We also get, laugh at, and maybe even know someone who is like the Ray Stevens song, I'm My Own Grandpa.

With all this attention to relationship detail it makes me really wonder: why is there no accurate way to distinguish between in-laws? I can't tell my sister's husband from my wife's brother because they are both merely brother-in-law. Maybe that's where the kith comes in?

A completely unrelated grammatical question is, why is the plural of all in-laws different from the plural of one type of in-law (i.e. in-laws versus mothers-in-law)? ~~~~~~~~~~~